everyone is single if you try hard enough
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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