So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
