I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
