the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
