yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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