my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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