Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
A+ Viking dick
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
