What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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