I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
