i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
