No stitches, just platelets and will power
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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