So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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