just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
