I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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