using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
