sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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