sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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