He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
