I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
