flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
