I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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