But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
