Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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