Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
