i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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