shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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