wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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