I got chris browned last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
