Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my being single is dangerous.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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