I got chris browned last night
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
