he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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