An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
