just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
