why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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