At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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