3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize