so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
