I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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