when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
