isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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