She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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