He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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