Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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