I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize