You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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