Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this must be what syphilis tastes like
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
