Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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