Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
a search helicopter?!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
