We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
