Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
