WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
