How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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