Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
