we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
