Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
