but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize