And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
