i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
