Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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