Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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