Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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