she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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