Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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