i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
